Tryin' to stand the gaff....

Here I am, stuck out in the middle of nowhere, travellin’ to Fort Benton to sell some horses. I reckon Uncle didn’t appreciate the difficulty over Red Johnnie. After we fought like Kilkenny cats, he euchered me into going on this here expedition.

“Oh you knocked into a cocked hat now, didn’tcha  missy?!” He said. “So you think you some ace-high gal? Go on, prove to me here that you can be fine as cream gravy and do somethin’ bang-up for a change. Ain’t no hide off my back if you can’t do it. I don’t need you here no more and you can just go on and high-tail it on out to some namby-pamby place. Miss big, high and mighty.”

That’s right, folks, he got me. And of course, I can’t even head out by my lonesome, he done got me a baby-sitter. It’s been two days and I still can’t get Ahanu to crack a smile. “He laughs” my keester! Why would you go on and name someone like that? More like “he hobbles his lip.” Ahanu used to be a part of my mamma and uncle’s tribe before they kicked him out on account of his love for white man living, too much into them oh-be-joyfuls and gettin’ as full as a tick every night. Then my uncle took him in and made him someone to run the river with.

 But I don’t care no continental about all that. He has done nothing but been all ruffled up since he found out I was goin’ with him. “Go on and fetch that water for them horses. Fetch me some sticks for a fire. Don’t go on and be all coffee-boilin’ about it and get to them horses.” Nothing but orderin’ me around like I’m some deadbeat! Why don’t you just go on and throw in the whole kit and caboodle while you’re at it! I’ve never been so played and dragged out in all my life.
“It’s hotter than a whorehouse on nickel night, and you expect me to do all that!” I yelled.
“You better pull in your horns, Miss Nina. I ain’t got no time for you and your shenanigans. I’da already been up an about, headin’ to where I needed to be if it weren’t for you and your fandango ways. So hobble your lip and pony up.” He said back to me.
“Well, who done shot your dog and said it’s dancin’? I muttered. Why is he yellin’ at me like that? Ain’t my fault that he had to watch over me.
“You know you sure ain’t holdin’ a candle to your blood. I ain’t never seen someone who done pass the buck like you. Here you got a ranch, kin that love you, and a way to go through the mill and give up bein’ such a shave tail, but you just wanna peter it all out. For what? A grand ole time, right?” as he said this to my face, he looked like he done swallowed a horn toad backwards.
Instead of shootin’ my mouth off, I just shut my bazoo and got us up and ready to leave. The last thing he said to me got me feelin’ somewhat shameful. The guilt started tricklin, in. I guess I ain’t had no gumption to make Uncle proud of me. Reckon I got a lot to think about while I'm out here, travellin' in Paradise.